We wouldn’t say that we were stricken stiff with surprise, or that we were caught off guard in a compromising position, but certainly we were troubled when we spotted the M*donna ads sprawled atop our blog page, sprawled like bucktoothed centerfolds on a Ferrari. It’s our own fault, of course, because we spoke her name above a whisper, and typed it most insouciantly, without qualifiers like “Holy Mary,” or “with Child,” or “Mother of God.” We aim to lose these ads if possible, and replace them with ads that delineate our ripping strength and supple milklines. Bring to us your laxative ads, your Carl Buddig Ham ads, your asbestos removal ads. Bring to us an ad that combines the lot, the Dr. Buddig Asbestos Laxative ad. And bring us a glass of water, for we are thirsty as a bitch.