Top Psychic Nearly Dies; Another Top Psychic to Die Soon

So, what are you doing? I saw a headline that read "Ralph Edwards Dies" and I panicked. I thought they meant John Edward. I'm ok now. Whew. I don't even care about Ralph Edwards, I only care about John Edward. What would I do if John Edward died? It's sad when a psychic dies, but it's not the end of the world. I'd still have James Van Praagh, I suppose, though my mentor Sylvia Brown tells me that he'll die this year, too - just like Ralph:

Sylvia: I'm getting a 'J' name coming through.

Me: J? Do you mean James Van Praagh?

Sylvia: Yes! He's going to die, or be very hurt, or maybe just feel off for a day or two.

Me: James Van Praagh will die?

Sylvia: Yes, and I see a man... holding his neck... I feel that something will happen with his neck, maybe he'll break his neck, or have a brain tumor, or colon cancer...

Me: Will he be squished by an elephant?

Sylvia: Yes. I think so.

Me: Does he have a message for me?

Sylvia: He says your grandmother is looking down at you from heaven. She's very proud of you.

Me: Even though I did time for all those forged checks?

Sylvia: Yes.

Me: It's weird, because both of my grandmothers are alive.

Sylvia: You'll move to a place near water... or you'll travel over water...

Me: I get very thirsty in the office.

Sylvia: Yes. Your grandmother wants you to drink more water.


I have another appointment with Sylvia next Tuesday. I'm hoping she can settle a bet for me. I bet Rafe that Jimmy Stewart had a horn growing out of his left temple and that he kept it filed down and hidden under his hair. Rafe says Jimmy Stewart had a horn growing out of his right temple and that it was made of graham cracker, so all he had to do to hide the horn was break it off and eat it. I'm worried that I'm going to lose this bet.