I Fall Off the Wagon
Normally, I maintain a strict diet of cheese and only cheese, and normally, I try not to eat anything after noon, because I like to avoid cheese nightmares. I usually stave off the hunger pangs by smelling my lipstick. This afternoon I got a little hungry, and I ate a hockey-puck-sized piece of bucheron, and I topped that off with a half-cup of gorgonzola crumbles. Ooooooooh, howdy! I'll be murdered tonight, mark my words! Probably right after the tornado rolls through, triggering the volcano that unleashes the bleeding helldog who chases me through the Kent State campus as the National Guard starts firing and church organs fall out of the sky. Mmmm mmmmm, that's good queso.