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Monday, December 20, 2004

This Morning

When I woke up this morning, I noticed that everything outside was coated with a thin layer of human skin, complete with downy hairs and a few unsightly moles. I could barely believe my eyes. So I put on my glasses and looked again, and boy, was I relieved. It was just ice! Why the ice was hairy and mole-ridden, I’ll never know. I walked to work with the only footwear known to navigate ice with any semblance of safety or dignity: Chuck Norris Converse All-Stars. They didn’t really match my sailor outfit, but I always put safety first. I killed several motorists with my martial arts ice-maneuvering mastery. I also got to work on time. Things are looking up.

4 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm using Safari browser, so now I can comment on your fine blog once more. Alas, I have nothing tosay that has not already been better said by William Shakespeare. Therefore I must refer you to his "compleat workes".

- www.stephenesque.org

12:25 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Excellent!
Isn't William Shakespeare that guy from Knots Landing? Because I was never impressed with the things he said. I've heard that TV shows had writers back then, so maybe he's not to blame for his ridiculous dialogue and suity piffery.

1:42 PM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Wait. I thought Shakespeare was the lead singer of Los Lobos.

3:26 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Los Lobos is a nuclear testing facility in New Mexico. Have you tried those Christmas Cookie Cutout Peeps or what? You're running out of time, brother.

10:53 PM  

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