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Monday, September 27, 2004

I Now Offer Counsel On Auras

Now that I have contact lenses, I can see people’s auras. Everyone’s aura is colorless and transparent. Some people’s auras have “stink lines,” similar to what you see in select cartoons. Aura stink lines indicate that the person inside the aura has an odor. It may be a bad odor, but it may also be a good odor. Some people’s auras smell like the Olive Garden. This indicates that the person in question just ate at the Olive Garden, just finished his shift at the Olive Garden, or just carries a little piece of fake Italy in his heart.

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