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Monday, May 01, 2006

Vacation

I need a vacation, but I can’t figure out where to go, how to get there, how to pay for it, and how to avoid getting bedbugs at the hotel. Specifically I am looking for a holiday residence within walking distance of two Starbucks so that if I suffer some sort of embarrassing incident at one location, I can quickly and easily walk to the second location. It would be helpful to have a third Starbucks in the vicinity as well, for the same reason. A fourth Starbucks within walking distance would be superfluous but acceptable.

UPDATE: A fifth Starbucks would get on my nerves unless it was a very small Starbucks, i.e., serving drinks for take-away only, no tables or chairs or walls of merchandise.

12 Comments:

Blogger goldennib said...

What sort of incident could happen at a Starbucks that would be embarrassing?

Oh, and why worry about the whys, hows, etc. Be very clear in your dream description and it will miraculously happen.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

As of mid-July, you are welcome to stay with us. Reportedly, there are only six Starbucks in the whole of Wales. Fortunately, four of them are in Cardiff.

11:51 AM  
Anonymous Igmar Fillipé said...

May I offer an alternative solution? Perhaps, instead of more Starbucks, you could look for a vacation destination with a Mega-Starbucks. A Starbucks that has so many customers and employees that it would be nearly impossible to run into someone you've seen there before. I'm not sure that they have Mega-Starbucks...
Scratch that, I have a different idea anyways. How 'bout a Starbucks where, at the door, they supply those masquerade ball, mask-on-a-stick thingies?

12:09 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

What? You're all drunk. I just want a nice holiday, and all you have to offer me is a load of weird static about miracles and Long Long Comment I Can't Read Because it's Too Long, with the Longness that is Taking Up Too Much of My Time. Comments should 1.) be short, like Chris' comment, and they should 2.) offer detailed information about Starbucks and exiting holiday opportunities, like Chris' comment did. These 2 rules apply to all comments in every blog at all times.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Kim said...

Burma.

10:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You can see all the starbucks by going to Mapquest and typing in "starbucks." Just look for a high-Starbucks-density area. Likely to be low crime as well so you don't have to worry about muggings.

10:31 AM  
Anonymous zippy the inebriated said...

What does my being drunk have to do with anything?

Unfortunately, I have no Starbucks Vacation Packages to recommend, but there's always Tallahassee. I've never been there, but I hear it's warm.

12:29 PM  
Blogger goldennib said...

*Hangs head in shame and hangoveredness*

5:57 PM  
Blogger Fred said...

I think you should rethink your vacation requirements because 1)Starbucks isn't as environmentally friendly as we would think if they're putting shops in Whales, and 2) even if four of them are in Cardiff now, they will soon diseminate.

12:01 AM  
Anonymous adolfo velasquez said...

Yep, Burma.

12:12 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Have bug-free hotel, but only one Starbuck's. Rats.

3:54 PM  
Anonymous Flatulent Lemur said...

I think Hong Kong is good. 4 Starbucks, 3 Pacific Coffee (good), 5 McDonalds, a KFC and a Pizza Hut, all within 500m of each other.

5:31 AM  

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