My Chef d'Oeuvre by Esther Wilberforce-Packard
I've spent the past 4 years writing a fantastic Swedish folktale. It takes place on gentle rolling hills of south-central Minnesota in 1890. Gertie and Albert are Swedes. "This is the story of two Swedes, picked to live in a house and have their lives taped, to see what happens when people stop being polite, and start poisoning each other with something from a can." This is their folktale, a play in one act. Four years of my life! Finally, it's perfect enough for print.
Alarum. Enter Gertie and Albert.
Gertie: Drink this, yah? (hands can to Albert)
Albert: (drinks from can) Good drink! (finishes can)
Gertie: It's poison, yah.
Albert: POISON?! (stunned, drops can)
Gertie: Ooooh, yah. Poison.
Albert: Will I die?
Gertie: Yah. Real soon.
Exeunt.
Alarum. Enter Gertie and Albert.
Gertie: Drink this, yah? (hands can to Albert)
Albert: (drinks from can) Good drink! (finishes can)
Gertie: It's poison, yah.
Albert: POISON?! (stunned, drops can)
Gertie: Ooooh, yah. Poison.
Albert: Will I die?
Gertie: Yah. Real soon.
Exeunt.
6 Comments:
Oh yah, dat's a pretty good li'l play ya got der.
excuse me ma'am is this a comment on my current string of absenteeism - anyway you owe me 7 years of back christmas bonus pay!
For a one-act play, it's a little long. I suppose a good editor could tighten it up, though, if you are interested in a quick sale. Or, you could do it yourself. Just eliminate all the foreplay.
too bad he didn't know lutefisk was the antedote.
Eliminate the foreplay, and insert an entr'acte. It always works for me.
Rather than an entr'act, I suggest you extract the Yahs. Then move the play to Rio, and use the Ipanima girl as the main character. She can poison the other one while walking by.
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