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Tuesday, June 29, 2004

There may come a time when I will be asked to organize and assemble a gorgeous, coffee-table sized cookbook brimming with romantically enhanced photos of Lavender-Lemon Cakes and Brie-Dotted Tuna Flank and Tarragon Goose Flatoose. But listen here - I think you will find my special cookbook twist both stirring and innovative. My “twist” is that, despite the beautiful and sundry photos, and despite the colorful recipe titles, EVERY SINGLE RECIPE in my cookbook will be the same old borscht recipe. Just ONE recipe! Do you see my genius? 250 full-color photos (none of borscht), 300 mouth-watering recipe titles, but 300 identical borscht recipes! All borscht! Picture this: you decide to bake my Asparagus Taffy Drops, and you assemble the ingredients on your countertop. But wait… something’s wr… you are NOT making Asparagus Taffy Drops, serves 12! You are making borscht, serves 6! Damn, are you mad? Fine by me! You can bitch into your bedding all night long! You can scrawl angry letters to Pope John Paul Jenkins! You can rail at the sky, rend your garment, and wear earth on your head! Oof - I make myself tired with this cookbook planning. I should have been an aviator, or a penny swindler, or a war-time nurse.

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