Pfffft

I ain't got nothin to say. And neither do you, so let's just sit quietly. If you are hungry, eat something that does not make noise, like yogurt. Open it in the kitchen, so that I don't have to hear you open it. I mean it! When I am ready to speak again, I will signal you by making a Zorro-y slashing gesture near your chest. No, that sounds a little crazy. I'll just punch you in the arm, or say, "Fine, TALK now."

That sounds crazy too. This entire post is absurd, because you're not physically in my house. But if you were, whoo-ee, you'd see. I ain't got nothin to say.