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Monday, October 18, 2004

The Future Is Now

Now that it is permissible to capitalize on the names of private citizens, I say we integrate Mary Cheney into our lives in ways she never dreamed possible. I say we utilize her name and image on partyware, camping equipment, novelty bicycle license plates, college-ruled Mead notebooks, windshield sun deflectors, frozen entrees, checkbook covers, Precious Moments figurines, temporary tattoos, Tiger Beat posters, banana decals, etc. And let’s rename the Seminoles “The Fightin’ Marys.” I don’t know why we should do any of this. I just know that we need to get this done quickly, before our window of opportunity slams shut.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Don't forget Mary Cheney pantyhose, Mary Cheney eyeliner and Mary Cheney ribbed condoms.

1:01 PM  

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