Get Out of Dodge, Dorkjack!

Everytime I phone Scotland Yard with a Lord Lucan tip, the receptionist laughs at me, and then puts me on speaker phone so that I can hear the entire office laugh at me. After about two minutes of this treatment, I laugh too. You just can't not laugh when Scotland Yard is laughing. It's that infectious.

At any rate, I packed Lucan some Lunchables and sent him to the farm until this business blows over again. Vote Tory! Labour wants to take away your right to kill your nanny!