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Monday, November 15, 2004

I'm Pulling an All-Dayer

Usually I sleep all day and sniff t-shirt armpits all night. I work in an all-night anti-perspirant/deodorant lab. I am a sniff technician. Science wants to know: does 'Tom’s of Maine' deodorant work? My nose says yes, but you must re-apply it every 30 minutes. And that’s just Tom's deodorant, folks. There’s no anti-perspirant in 'Tom’s of Maine' deodorant. Everybody sweats profusely in Maine – even cheerleaders and babies. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.

3 Comments:

Blogger Megan McMillan said...

I carry my Tom's of Maine around in my handbag and apply generously after working up a mild stench. It's at first difficult to get used to applying deodorant in public, but really, it's as simple as putting on lipstick at the table in an upscale restaurant! or talking on a mobile phone and gesturing wildly in the carpool lane on the freeway! or eating a bean burrito during a guest lecture at a university! Anise-scented, indeed.

3:45 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

That's the spirit! Me? I prefer the calendula scent. And very little rice in the burrito, if any. Some places load you up with rice! I don't want rice in my bean burrito! Bluuuck! Gimmee my nine bucks back, you scoundrels! I can't listen to some guy drone on for two hours with nothing but a flour-based skinfull of RICE to comfort me. Or... yeah, what you said.

8:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some years ago I was happily using Tom's of Maine, ever so proud that I was no longer subjecting my manly arm-pits to all that dreadful aluminum. Happy, that is, until my girlfriend suggested I smelled like slightly over-ripe Fruit Loops. Can Burt's Bees take over? We shall see.

Ephrem Christopher Walborn
ephrem@tuirgin.com (dare to be spammed)
http://www.tuirgin.com

11:33 AM  

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