So Early

I rose early today with the intention of having good intentions. I feel that I have failed. My intentions this morning are not good, but bad. I keep finding myself chasing roadrunners in the name of foul play. And yet the roadrunner somehow survives my villainy, while I fall to my death - repeatedly! Occasionally, I am crushed by an anvil; I get the sense that this is merely a device to disturb the monotony of my cliff falls. Surely this is without precedent?