WHO MADE THIS MESS?!
Just wait until I find out who left this mess on my floor! Milk spilled on the sofa - feces on the wainscoting - bananas everywhere! The cleaning lady won't be back for a week, and I have guests arriving any minute! Not just any guests, either, but guests from the groves of academe. And who drank all the rum? Sheesh, WHAT IS GOING ON?
UPDATE:
I knew it!
It was that no-good Baby Monkey! Trashed my house and passed out in his bananaskin hammock, he did! It's a good thing my guests stood me up, because they would have been appalled by this mess. Also, I'm out of rum and the guest room smells like unwashed baby primate. Try getting that smell out of the drapes, peoples! Ha! Not going to happen!
13 Comments:
He must have gone to Pride, because those sinister red devices to blow up your scrotum like basketballs were the rage this year
How adorable! Where can I buy a Baby Monkey? I am williing to pay good money.
To spirit fingers:
Although you may purchase baby monkeys on many places of the internets, I recommend you avoid the troublesome legal paperwork and drive yourself to Tijuana, Mexico. They have the great selections at the most affordable prices. And the parties, they never stop.
Esther, this is a rich vein of blogging form. Give my regards to the baby monkey, when he sobers up.
I am impressed by your ability to take pictures of toys and turn it into something hilarious and arty.
If you get yourself a nice anaconda, you won't have monkey business to worry about any more. Anacondas also can be trained to give hugs to people, sometimes not platonically.
There are those who would say the only appropriate punishment for the juvenile primate is to be peeled alive and entombed in a cask of banana mush. But I wouldn’t know such people. Really.
What are you staring at?
Keep your dunken monkey away from typewriters. The last time they got a hold of one they wrote a script for a Ben Afleck movie. I speak from experience
You'd better file this to the desk of these people:
http://rumandmonkey.com/
They'll know what to do.
Oh, I come here for the cheering up and to be staying awake, yet I find no new writings.
I have just seen Tom Cruise in the bouncing and telling us about "body Thetans" and the evil alien lord Xenu, and I need the friendly words. I am fearful that Xenu may place these "body Thetans" in the ears while I sleep.
On to other blogs, as they say.
Here because Hoss votes yes to Esther and three minutes into your posts I can see why. Funny, bad, smart- this is fun!
I came via Old Hoss. He says you're funny, and he's right! Punish that monkey!
Hope your July 4th holiday was a goodie!
Hope that smell is gone by now. Gross!
Are you related to the chemistry set I was always promised but never received?
Post a Comment
<< Home