Sign #1: Today at 3:00 p.m., channel 45 aired the Brady Bunch episode where Myron the mouse gets picked up by his tail. You should never pick up a mouse by its tail - it's cruel. You should pick up a mouse they way you pick up a baby: that is, wrap the mouse in a blanket and quickly hand it to someone else. Sign #2: Today at 3:30 p.m., channel 45 aired the Brady Bunch episode where Peter gets a black eye and, in effort to ameliorate his shame and/or placate the evil spirits, Alice places a medium-rare steak on Peter's face. What's all this? That's not where steaks go! I can barely believe what the hired help gets away with on television these days. Plus, this morning there was a spider on my toothbrush and I saw a man walking a pterodactyl on a leash. Pack your bags, the end times are near.