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Monday, January 09, 2006

Disgraceful Enthusiasm in the Heartland

Word has it that in some parts of America, a salutatory “How are you?” doesn’t really mean “How are you?” but simply “Hello,” or “Hey,” - and that in Minnesota when you greet people with an innocuous “How are you?” they will fling wide the gates of dignity with a hearty “SAY! I’M doing just FINE! HOW ARE YOU?”

So… how do I proceed when someone from, I don’t know, let’s say Jersey City, asks, “How are you?” Hmm. It’s a risky enterprise. I don’t want to look foolish in front of Jersey City citizenry– that much is certain. I don’t want Jersey City Man to think I’ve never set foot outside of the tri-state area. In fact, I’ve been to Canada on two occasions. Doesn’t matter, though. I guess I want what everyone wants: I want the citizens of New Jersey to believe that I am just as sophisticated as they are. And I want it in writing.

Will let you know when this happens.

4 Comments:

Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Just for laughs, assume you say to Jersey City Man: "How are you?" He will say: "What's it to you?" Thus making the point he is far more sophisticated than you can ever hope to be.

2:32 PM  
Blogger kenju said...

Actually, the Jersey City man would likely say "Are you tawkin' to me?"

9:18 PM  
Blogger Chemical Billy said...

I can never aspire to the sophistication of those swells in Jersey City. But my dad is from Camden, so that's got to count for something.

11:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here in Milwaukee it's "How's it going?" I nonplus people by answering "sideways".

7:44 PM  

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