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Thursday, January 05, 2006

Pupilometrics

I would have blogged sooner, but I've been studying pupilometrics. Pupilometrics: the study of the black eye dot. Not everyone has a black eye dot - you have to have eyeballs first. If you are without eyeballs, you are likely without pupils. What I'm saying is this: pupilometrics is a very complex area of study. Pupilometrics is what happens when pupils "puporate" in the presence of visuals. I have reached an advanced state of knowledge of pupilometrics in a matter of minutes by utilizing a specialized "soak strategy" wherein I actually puporate the pupilometrics textbook. It's like speed reading, but faster. I would like to tell you more about this exciting science, but I have to be at city hall in five minutes; the mayor is microwaving me a burrito.

4 Comments:

Blogger Chris Cope said...

I still believe Ryback's "Burritos For Every Minneapolitan" campaign was ill-conceived.

10:56 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Well, shit. So much for the hoped-for solution to red-eye.

6:54 PM  
Anonymous vicki said...

Sophie, my British Blue, has a PhD in this subject. Let me know if you want her e-mail address.

9:35 AM  
Blogger Chemical Billy said...

The greatest accomplishment in my life was when I learned how to measure pupillary distance. If you give me a burrito, I might teach you.

11:06 PM  

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