This Year's Coloring Pages

Did you mean to send out holiday cards, but you just plain forgot, or were too cheap or wroth to get the job done? Me too, but so what? Instead of sending cards, I’m going to what I’ve always done, which is wrap a few McDonald’s hot apple pies in coloring pages and mail them out in February. “Enjoy the hot apple pie!” I’ll write on the envelopes. This year, I’ll also write “THIS SIDE UP” and “FRAGILE PIE,” so the Post Office doesn’t squish the holy Jack Andrews out of them.

This year’s coloring pages:

Royal Canadian Mounted Police
Who checks what
Hi There
Queen Esther (sartorially confusing)
Man in a frock falls into Leviathan mouth (Leviathan with hat version)
Loan officer Williams
Put your mind at ease