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Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Stop Trying to Touch My Base!

Haven’t been able to log in to Blogger for several days. Blogger seemed to be working fine, so the problem must have been my poor attitude. Instead of blogging, I wrote each of you a private letter on freesia-scented stationery. The letters included the usual niceties and accusations, including but not limited to “How are you? I am fine,” and “I burned your hope chest - it smelled like mice.”

I had to intuit your mailing addresses, of course. Well, did you get your letters?


Blogger Chris Cope said...

OK. This probably explains why the prime minisiter of India knows that my nickname is Dribble Clown.

9:33 AM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

We don’t call you Dribble Clown anymore. We’ve called you Frikka-Fried Foo’ ever since your hair caught fire at the Old Dirt Hole.

12:16 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Why, yes I did. But how did you know I am Inuit?

12:37 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Sometimes I can intuit the Inuit. Sometimes I can't.

1:35 PM  
Blogger zzzzzzz said...

But what happened to the mice that lived in my hope chest?!?!?!?

2:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I did not get mine; you may have sent it to my former work address. I recently changed jobs in order to spend less time with reporters.

Please re-send and omit freesia in favor of a more manly fragrance such as pork 'n' beans.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Adolfo - Your mice are living in a cinder block out in the field. Mrs. Frisby is worried; moving day is coming and Timothy is sick! Will the rats help Mrs. Frisby move her cinder block before the farmer plows them into darkest oblivion? I'd tell you, but I didn't finish the book.

Scooter Libby? Scooter Libby from Beach Side/Hillcrest Special Ed Class of '84? I thought I'd never hear from you again, my man! Shit, man! You learned how to read!

Dude, I am so proud of you.

9:53 PM  
Blogger Shane said...

I did not receive a letter. Though I read in the local newspaper that my postman was hospitalised on Monday, there was talk of contact with a contaminated package. Surely not, Esther? Mouse droppings, Esther?

4:51 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank you for the letter. Why didn't you send cash? I like cash.

3:05 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Shane - I never mail droppings.

Anon - I never mail cash.


9:40 PM  
Blogger Astrid said...

No, I think someone shot the bird who was supposed to bring it to me. Will you send it me again and then on sunflower-scented stationery?

10:41 AM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

I doubt anyone shot that bird. He has allergies. He probably stopped in Brussels to renew his Claritin prescription. I'm sure your letter will appear shortly.

11:44 AM  

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