Stop Trying to Touch My Base!
Haven’t been able to log in to Blogger for several days. Blogger seemed to be working fine, so the problem must have been my poor attitude. Instead of blogging, I wrote each of you a private letter on freesia-scented stationery. The letters included the usual niceties and accusations, including but not limited to “How are you? I am fine,” and “I burned your hope chest - it smelled like mice.”
I had to intuit your mailing addresses, of course. Well, did you get your letters?
I had to intuit your mailing addresses, of course. Well, did you get your letters?
12 Comments:
OK. This probably explains why the prime minisiter of India knows that my nickname is Dribble Clown.
We don’t call you Dribble Clown anymore. We’ve called you Frikka-Fried Foo’ ever since your hair caught fire at the Old Dirt Hole.
Why, yes I did. But how did you know I am Inuit?
Sometimes I can intuit the Inuit. Sometimes I can't.
But what happened to the mice that lived in my hope chest?!?!?!?
I did not get mine; you may have sent it to my former work address. I recently changed jobs in order to spend less time with reporters.
Please re-send and omit freesia in favor of a more manly fragrance such as pork 'n' beans.
Adolfo - Your mice are living in a cinder block out in the field. Mrs. Frisby is worried; moving day is coming and Timothy is sick! Will the rats help Mrs. Frisby move her cinder block before the farmer plows them into darkest oblivion? I'd tell you, but I didn't finish the book.
Scooter Libby? Scooter Libby from Beach Side/Hillcrest Special Ed Class of '84? I thought I'd never hear from you again, my man! Shit, man! You learned how to read!
Dude, I am so proud of you.
I did not receive a letter. Though I read in the local newspaper that my postman was hospitalised on Monday, there was talk of contact with a contaminated package. Surely not, Esther? Mouse droppings, Esther?
Thank you for the letter. Why didn't you send cash? I like cash.
Shane - I never mail droppings.
Anon - I never mail cash.
hmmmm.....
No, I think someone shot the bird who was supposed to bring it to me. Will you send it me again and then on sunflower-scented stationery?
I doubt anyone shot that bird. He has allergies. He probably stopped in Brussels to renew his Claritin prescription. I'm sure your letter will appear shortly.
Post a Comment
<< Home