Beans Beans the Musical Fruit

Fellow Thick Fat Loonies, let us change this sad state of affairs. If we cannot mend our ways, then we must find a way to cork the incessant contempt that deluges us from abroad - for when foreigners make fun of us, we sublimate our shame by eating three tubes of Pringles and all of The Cheesecake Factory leftovers. It’s like we’re just running in place, man. Without actually running, of course, because running is hard work.