Would That I Had a Casual Acquaintance

If I had a casual acquaintance who liked NASCAR, I wouldn’t ask him about NASCAR right away. I would let him believe that I was “cool.” Then, after an unspecified period of time, I would blurt out, “Don’t you know, I’m curious as to why you like NASCAR!” Then, on with the dirty looks, I suppose, because every non-NASCAR person surely asks the NASCAR person the same set of questions: Why do you watch NASCAR? Is it because of your dad? Do you watch only for the crashes? If so, is it a wasted race if no one crashes? Do you watch for strategy? Is strategy involved? Is there such a thing as a boring NASCAR race? Is it riveting to stare at something so repetitive for so long? Is it, in fact, repetitive? Would you watch without the aid of beer? Do you pretend that you yourself are driving one of the cars? What in heaven’s name are you doing? And so forth. I would rush to assure this man that I would never ask these questions in order to injure or ridicule. I would ask these questions in order to understand. I would ask these questions in order to learn to adore this elegant driving game. One gets so frightfully tired of whist.