I Need a Lift; I Also Need Help With Subjunctive Construction

When I watch Foyle's War, I say to myself, "If I had Sam Stewart to drive me around, I, too, could solve crimes." But I probably would not solve crimes right away. I would probably have Sam drive me to Taco Morelos, or to the mall. She would probably hop out of the car and question a loiterer or two while I am shopping. Later, I would return to the car with my nachos or my new Hugo Boss shirt, and she would fill me in on whatever clues she picked up. "But I'm not currently in the process of solving any crimes," I would remind her. Then I would eat my nachos in the car, because they're no good when they're cold.