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Wednesday, January 26, 2005

Do Not Be Fooled

I've been thinking of ways to keep the floors cleaner this winter, and the only thing I can think of is to make the dog wear shoes when he's outside, and make his take his shoes off when he comes indoors. This is easier said than done, because he is a slave to fashion, and slaves don't wear shoes. Every penny you spend on your slave's shoes is one penny not spent on pyramids and cat mummies. Also, he's a macho sled dog. If another sled dog saw him prancing about in shoes, he'd be a barkingstock from the tip of Alaska to the Bay of Biscay, wherever the hell that is.

Do not be fooled into thinking that I am a "dog person." I would rather have seven cat mummies than a dog.


Blogger NostraDumbAss said...

Holy smokes! Am I glad I found you. Probably the funniest blog I've ever read...post...after post..after post---and I've read a lot of blogs. Look for a nomination for "funniest blog in the entire universe" as soon as I can find such a competition. Keep up the fantastic work. I've Blogrolled you, posted a link to you, and told all three of readers you're going to be my first read of the day.

Keep up the fantastic work (and don't let this comment go to your head).


6:35 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey dumbass

2:35 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Oh, Esther... "Barkingstock"!? I choked on my coffee as I read that. I know, I comment on the minutae of your blog rather than the big picture. I hope you are not offended. But I do see the big picture! I do! BTW, cat mummies are definitely better than dogs.

8:55 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

The problem with cat mummies is the upkeep. I will stop commenting now before I make an obvious mummy/mommy pun.

4:16 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Please tell me that you write novels, and have about 15 titles in print?
a turn of word as fine as thine doth ere requite the hungry mind

that feast upon the broken word but longed for meat and bread and wine

---- such a treat to find such prose Thank you for sharing, my name is Rose
also known as a VERY bad poet

12:24 AM  
Blogger Tiger said...

Quipped ya at Read My Lips: http://tig.mu.nu/archives/065407.html

1:32 PM  

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