I'll Tell YOU What Time It Is
Today I wore a wristwatch that was set to daylight saving time. I didn't give a hoot, because I wear my watch as a fashion accessory only; my watch has no truck with accuracy. Sometimes I even cut wristwatches out of magazine ads and tape them to my wrist. Completely useless. "What time is it?" people ask me. "Time? Don't know what you're getting at," I roar as I stomp on their kneecaps. The kneecap-stomping is the key to teaching these toothless interrogators a lesson; I don't want people wasting my time with their rummy questions.