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Wednesday, February 02, 2005

You Wiwl Be Wichwy Wewarded in Hebben

I would like to remind you that I am quite upset about being made to wait. I am tired of waiting. I am not a woman of patience.

It is quite likely that you have no idea what I'm hinting at. Good. Let us agree to part company with this ambiguity swarming between us. It will make our relationship stronger.

If, however, you can guess what I'm waiting for, I shall fiddle with my blogroll and place you atop the tawdry laundry-list of screeching tomfools. You will also be richly rewarded in heaven, and all that.

Note: If I read a precious post like this in anyone else's blog, I'd hit the "back" key faster than you can say Jack Robi-


Anonymous Anonymous said...

ipod shuffle?

10:29 AM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

No. What would I do with an ipod shuffle? A pez dispenser would be more useful.

10:49 AM  
Blogger Amy said...

Those darned rodent hogs who predicted our winter will be longer???

12:04 PM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

As one who has long felt the sting of being rather low on your blogroll (as if I am the sad mailroom boy with Down syndrome who hasn't gotten the hint yet that I'm not wanted), I am desperately trying to think of what you may be waiting for and how I might present it to you tenfold. It's not your birthday. I doubt you want anything from me for Valentine's Day. I don't think I owe you money. Maybe I promised to "hook you up" with my notoriously good-looking brother. Oof. What could it be? I am taking solace in the fact that I have no idea who the hell Jack Robi is. But maybe I should know. Oh, woe is me.

12:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

incredible retardation.
first you want a girl all dressed in white.
second you want an asian baby.
third you want your spring line to be well received on the style channel.
and finally you want the unequivocal admiration of your dog... something you haven't really had in months.
and you would also, without seeming immeasurably greedy, like the rest of my sandwich, even though you know i made this sandwich to substain the dying pope.
you know i'm not even on your stupid blog roll. i purchased a star for you, had them write your name on it with a laser, but still nothing. no visit, no comment. my family is too ashamed to go shopping in public and now they only shop at home, which is just foolish. yesterday i caught my brother trying on his own sweater.
well i want you to know i've sold your star to RC cola and they intend to use it as a landfill.


and, you live in minneapolis... don't you know that's my city?

6:19 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Gatsby -
That's rich. Why should I put you on my blogroll when I'm not on YOUR blogroll? You don't even have a blogroll. I'll add you, but on probationary status only.

Why did you have to sell my star? I'm taking you off my blogroll.

7:04 PM  
Blogger noisy ghost said...

Oh, Ms. Wilberforce-Packard, will you never tell us what this post was about? I've now read your entire archive trying to find some clue to solve this mystery. I know about your tortured search for Stanislaus. I know about Fat Old Molly. I even know about the time you lost your keys in a snow drift in 1994, but still no release. I've even, God help me, read most of Zoe tracker and I've developed a strange tic under one eye and a rash under my tongue. I'm not sure where I'm going with all of this, but . . . Oh yes, will you tell us what this post was about?

7:53 PM  
Blogger noisy ghost said...

I almost forgot. I know about Toasty McBrown Town the mule, as well. Oh, how I know. For some reason, my wife laughed so hard at this that I had to take her to the emergency room to be tranquilized.

10:08 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You should remove Chris from your blog roll entirely. He's an insecure whining bore

11:10 PM  
Blogger kari said...

chris is whining about being low on the blogroll...i'm not even ON the blogroll. and you, you are near the top of my blogroll.
how could you...i don't even know you anymore!

10:59 AM  

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