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Wednesday, February 02, 2005

Calling All Sane Men of Action

I think my neighbors are fleeing the country. First, they go missing for two months straight. Then they reappear in the middle of the night. Now they have people in tracksuits carrying full file drawers to their car. All good fun, but if they're fixing to blow up their house on their way out of town, my house will go too, and I will feel compelled to personally track them down and hatchet them. Unless I die in the blast. If I die in the blast, I'm going to need someone else to hunt and hatchet these bizarre hippies. Please leave your name in the comments field if you're willing to avenge my death by hatcheting these hirsute rotters.

If I were you, I'd wait until they've crossed into Mexico before hatcheting them. They have no laws in Mexico.


Blogger Chris Cope said...

Done and done. They shouldn't be too hard to track down. I'll host a Wellstone memorial and hatchet the six people that show up. A few innocents will die, but I hear that Pawlenty is paying $400 a head these days.

2:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't do hatcheting, it's too difficult to get the bloodstains out of my clothes, not to mention my moustache. I do, however, have a new revolver and am somewhat curious as to the penetration potential of the handloaded ammunition I'm working up.
If shooting is an acceptable subsitute, then I would be happy to oblige. A bit more revenge would probably lead to a more polite society.

4:57 PM  
Blogger sparklestone said...

If you post tomorrow, I will know you are safe.

Otherwise, I will be the acting Mayor of Hatchet City.

...and I will be handing out free hatchets. (by handing out, I mean hatcheting)

7:37 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

Hippies! Just let me get my gas mask to protect myself from the stench and I am THERE, cleaver in hand!

11:20 PM  
Blogger margi said...

No laws in Mexico?

I see someone hasn't spent the night with the Federales in a Mexican jail. Not that I have. It was a friend. Yeah, that's it.

12:58 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Goodness! Nothing to get excited about, really. If you bought the rifle you are prepared to repel boarders (or renters, or anyone else, for that matter). If you bought the car, you can take a road trip and pick up the needed supplies (rifle, ammo, booze, and railroad flares) before the fun starts.

Then again, hatchets do have a hundred uses.

9:17 AM  

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