AND I Have an Angry Badger Living in the Crawl Space

I do wish the goddamn animal kingdom would call off their dogs. If it's not ants in my kitchen, it's squirrels reading over my shoulder when I try to get a moment of R&R in the backyard. Of course, nature is no great respecter of the Wilberforce-Packards in general. Last winter my uncle was snatched from the riverbank by a gang of west-coast eels and my sister Leda was impregnated by an incredibly pompous swan. On a related note, I fully expect to be fleeced by the mechanic next week when I collect my Essex Coupe from the garage. I had to bring it in yesterday after I opened the rumble seat and a bull moose sprang at me from within, thereby disabling the catch and dislocating a fender.