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Thursday, April 07, 2005

Nobody Ate Taft Last Year

Today I noticed a pile of green crap growing in the backyard. At first I thought it was a clump of crabgrass, but it turns out that it's a gigantic piece of stilton from the lawn party I held last October. It was originally carved into a likeness of President William Howard Taft, of blessed memory. Now it's just garbage cheese.

This year I intend to stilton-sculpt either Thomas Aquinas or that intolerable harridan who murdered all those people in the gulags. Can't remember her name at the moment. Hmmm... oh, Virginia Woolf.


Anonymous Old Horsetail Snake said...

But if the next Pope is a German, surely you will do Liederkranz. Surely.

7:21 PM  
Blogger Attila Girl said...

You are incorrect: it was Gertrude Stein. Do try to stick to the facts.

1:08 AM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Facts, schmacts. Gertrude Stein was the one who strangled those women in Boston. Facts. Pffft. I think I know what I'm talking about here.

8:49 PM  

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