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Tuesday, April 12, 2005

I Would Be Appalled

One of the things I'd like for my garden is a small river of lava, if only to have a convenient place to discard the furniture I no longer want. The only downside I can think of is that I'd occasionally see a bunny fall into the lava. I hate seeing bunnies falling into lava! Nothing ruins an afternoon like witnessing a bunny in lava, unless it's seeing the lava rise up, form a clawed hand, and proactively swipe a bunny from the green grass of safety. Christ - loosen up, lava river! Patience. Don't be so grabby.


Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

It is unfortunate that Andrea Dworkin wasn't there to see it. Although I doubt she would have been amused.

7:02 PM  
Blogger Bleak Mouse said...

Yes, it is all well and good to lament the death of bunnies by lava, but this is an example of what we call Ecological Balance, whereby one force of nature, in this case molten rock, balances another, to wit the reproductive capacity of bunnies. Without such checks, bunnies would breed unimpeded (except by negligible factors such as mortar shells, falling buildings, and quicksand) and quickly inundate the planet. Fortunately, responsible organizations work tirelessly to conserve our dwindling lava reserves.
Non-geologists often misinterpret the "lava hand" phenomenon." This is not due to an innate capacity of lava, despite what you may read in the penny press. These are formed by the actual hands of humans who have misstepped around lava and are struggling to get out. It's to no avail, of course, but it often takes the poor souls many hours to die. Children are even worse. That they are stupid to fall in is of little comfort.

10:28 PM  
Blogger David said...

Yep. A waste of dinner. Lava simply overcooks bunnies. What's needed is a spit to roast them above the lava. Now, that'd be OK.

A nice mustard sauce, some collard greens and scallions. maybe some new potatoes. Yum.

Watch out for the tularemia, though.

8:24 AM  
Blogger David said...

What the heck! Blogger's even screwing up simple html tags, now.

Time to go to the range (as in "Home, home on... "?). Surely I can find some Bloggerâ„¢ targets to practice on. (The bad tag in the previous comment should have been an italicised "above")

Does anyone have the address of the Bloggerâ„¢ tech who "fixed" Bloggerâ„¢ last week? A drive by mooning would be to kind for such as that...

8:28 AM  
Blogger kari said...

i'm reminded of deep thoughts with jack handy, regarding lava and keys...

"If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone."

1:02 PM  

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