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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Rock! Make Me a Latte!

It turns out that God was angry at Moses because Moses was supposed to speak to the rock, not hit the rock with his staff. The lesson to be learned here is: ALWAYS speak to rocks - even the decorative fiberglass ones - and if they do not respond, strike them with your staff until they do your bidding. Also, if you leave the office early on Friday in order to seize land and raise a militia over the weekend, do not announce your success to the entire office on Monday. Nobody likes a show-off.

The head has spoken.


Blogger JPatrick said...

Forth, but with trepidation!

Christopher Walken once engaged a rock in conversation and found himself in the movie "The Rundown." Twas par for the course in a misspent career, yet the point remains...

12:48 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

This is not like you Esther. This makes perfect sense. I suspect you lost the paintball match yesterday, and this is your way of getting even. I don't know about people who always have to be even; why can't some stay behind like they're supposed to?

1:35 PM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

I was wondering why no one was congratulating me on taking Cuba.

1:56 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Congratulations on taking Cuba.

2:44 PM  
Blogger kenju said...

Well, I always thought you were supposed to LISTEN to the rocks, not talk to them. Put your ear to the rock and you will learn what's what! It's sort of like hugging a tree and feeling the life force within.

7:29 PM  
Anonymous Spiro Agnew said...

The militia thing is not as easy as you make it sound. When I was Governor of Maryland I wanted to seize West Virginia. The plan fell apart when those present noticed everyone involved had their own teethe. And Johnson would not let use the National Guard. We still laugh about the good times as we sit here together burning in hell.

9:04 AM  

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