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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Counting Canadians

I spent all last week gearing up for Canada Census Day and now it is here. I can’t stand the suspense. Counting Canadians is one of my favorite social rituals. The most Canadians I’ve counted in one room is four, but that’s not counting half-Canadians or naturalized Canadians or men wearing pleated trousers.

Once I met a man named Shane. He was Canadian, but he was living in America. He wore great cavalry mustaches and regularly threatened passersby with a steak knife – all to avoid the usual penalty for being openly Canadian in America, which is having your eyes put out and your national park camping permit revoked.


Anonymous adolfo velasquez said...

One of my uncles married a Canadian. It is the shame of my family.

Sometimes, it helps to get these things out in the open.

9:27 AM  
Blogger goldennib said...

My daughter's father is Canadian. As you can imagine, she has identity issues.

10:11 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Do Canadians living in the United States count as Canadians? What if they are gay? Do they count twice? Or not at all?

Sometimes I wish you would answer all the questions in your b**g so I wouldn't have to remind you.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Fred said...

I don't know why OldH thinks that gays are math-challenged. I had a calculus professor who was gay and he seemed to count as well as anyone else.

I do know that there are at least 10 Canadians living in San Jose. Don't forget to count them.

11:06 PM  
Anonymous poltroon said...

What is the sound of one Canadian clapping? And if he does so in the forest, do they still count him?

8:35 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

I hate those damned Canadians and their fancy cavalry mustaches. Yes, I will admit I am jealous. I hate them all the same.

1:41 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

All hail Gordon Lightfoot.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Major K said...

My brother-in-law is Canadian, but he's taking medication for it.

6:32 AM  
Blogger bryan torre said...

I posted a link to one of your posts on my blog.
This is because I am infatuated with you. Not in a creepy stalker way, just in they way of driving by your house at night and sometimes following you to work to make sure you're okay.
But anyway my point, which I do have, is that someone posted the following comment in reference to your Counting Canadians post:

Found the current topic on topic drift annoying... it just feeds into the idea that "We are American so we are the best." Travel get to know a place then comment please. (and when on a trip no plaid pants and US flags)

I feel you owe this person (Chloe) an apology on organizational letterhead.
That is all at this time.

2:50 PM  

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