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Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Counting Canadians

I spent all last week gearing up for Canada Census Day and now it is here. I can’t stand the suspense. Counting Canadians is one of my favorite social rituals. The most Canadians I’ve counted in one room is four, but that’s not counting half-Canadians or naturalized Canadians or men wearing pleated trousers.

Once I met a man named Shane. He was Canadian, but he was living in America. He wore great cavalry mustaches and regularly threatened passersby with a steak knife – all to avoid the usual penalty for being openly Canadian in America, which is having your eyes put out and your national park camping permit revoked.

9 Comments:

Anonymous adolfo velasquez said...

One of my uncles married a Canadian. It is the shame of my family.

Sometimes, it helps to get these things out in the open.

9:27 AM  
Blogger goldennib said...

My daughter's father is Canadian. As you can imagine, she has identity issues.

10:11 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Do Canadians living in the United States count as Canadians? What if they are gay? Do they count twice? Or not at all?

Sometimes I wish you would answer all the questions in your b**g so I wouldn't have to remind you.

11:48 AM  
Blogger Fred said...

I don't know why OldH thinks that gays are math-challenged. I had a calculus professor who was gay and he seemed to count as well as anyone else.

I do know that there are at least 10 Canadians living in San Jose. Don't forget to count them.

11:06 PM  
Anonymous poltroon said...

What is the sound of one Canadian clapping? And if he does so in the forest, do they still count him?

8:35 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

I hate those damned Canadians and their fancy cavalry mustaches. Yes, I will admit I am jealous. I hate them all the same.

1:41 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

All hail Gordon Lightfoot.

2:43 PM  
Blogger Major K said...

My brother-in-law is Canadian, but he's taking medication for it.

6:32 AM  
Blogger bryan torre said...

I posted a link to one of your posts on my blog.
This is because I am infatuated with you. Not in a creepy stalker way, just in they way of driving by your house at night and sometimes following you to work to make sure you're okay.
But anyway my point, which I do have, is that someone posted the following comment in reference to your Counting Canadians post:

Found the current topic on topic drift annoying... it just feeds into the idea that "We are American so we are the best." Travel get to know a place then comment please. (and when on a trip no plaid pants and US flags)

I feel you owe this person (Chloe) an apology on organizational letterhead.
That is all at this time.

2:50 PM  

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