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Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Riyadh is Lovely This Time of Year

Sorry, I would have posted sooner, but I fell in with some gangsters and I “forgot” my blog password. Underworld mind control, and all that. I kept thinking my password was “passitypassword123” but it was not. Nor was it “123passitypassword,” nor “passwordtownusa,” nor “shakazulu123." So no post until now. Fortunately for me, my gangsters were benevolent gangsters; all they wanted was my cache of rubies and my apparatus for distilling assorted alcohols. Don’t know why they tried to brainwash me, as I was more than willing to hand over the goods outright. My wealth is a curse. Does anyone want my flat in Taipei? It comes with a solid gold Learjet. I’m also trying to get rid of my estate outside of Riyadh. It comes with an exquisite wine cellar and about 1500 rather shirty kalashnikov-toting masked men. Well, are you interested in these properties or not?


Blogger Kris said...

Howard Dean can go to hell and eat a clown.

11:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

from what i can tell, your password isn't "fenimore15cooper", "7littlerascals" or "EWP999", either. more's the pity, as they are cleverly crafted and virtually foolproof.

well except for the second one. damned buckwheat has a mouth like an admiral's drunken mistress.

11:34 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe Howard Dean likes clowns. I think they taste funny.

11:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Outside of Riyadh"? Perfect, I thought.
"It comes with an exquisite wine cellar and about 1500 rather shirty kalashnikov-toting masked men." What could be better, I thought, and was poised to relieve you of that burdensome and troubling estate. Then I realized that I had misread "shirty" as "shirtless"... well, you can imagine my embarrassment as the wind completely left my sales.

9:08 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Kalishnikovs? Wine? Honey, I'm sold!

12:34 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Somebody moved the London Bridge to some damn place in Arizona or California, so why don't you move your place in Riyadh to Salem, Oregon, where I can take a nice tour before turning you down?

1:49 PM  
Blogger Jamie Dawn said...

I'm here via Old Hoss.
Your writing post-brainwashing is quite good.
I read on down a bit, and your writing pre-brainwashing was quite good too.
I could use the Lear Jet. Do you deliver?

11:26 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

get over it, everyone gets mugged. keep on truckin little girl

5:47 AM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Listen, everybody. Howard Dean might eat clowns, I don't know. He's a doctor, after all, and doctors eat nasty shit, like Greek food and salads from McDonalds. Chris, I'm not letting you have a kalashnikov because I know you'll spend too much time cleaning it - AND you won't let anyone touch it because they might get it fingerprints on it. And I KNOW you won't shoot dissidents with it. You NEVER shoot dissidents. It is one of your signature flaws.

8:07 PM  

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