AND He Preserved the Blessed Union of These United States

If the question “Who is your favorite president?” is bandied about your office, and you proclaim your affection for Grant, and your boss mocks your choice while refusing to commit to any particular president herself, why, that just makes a sucker out of you, doesn’t it? Yes, I am afraid it does.
“I like President Grant,” I said.
“A WARRIOR?!?” El Jefe cried, foam flying from her chops, teeth gnashing.
A warrior. Reader, you were not even there, but you blood boils, eh? Of course it boils! U.S. Grant was a man of exquisite fortitude, tremendous passion, and mind-boggling physical beauty. Which is why I could not defend him properly in the office: My mind was boggled by his bold, passionate beauty.