The Worst Post I've Posted So Far, by Mennen

It's almost winter, and that means the space heater comes out. Also, the blue cardigan reappears. The space heater smells like burning, and the sweater, according to the gratis literature that accompanies my detergent, smells like a crisp spring morning. I do not wear smelly sweaters, and neither should you. I notice, you know. I notice when your sweater needs laundering. Don't think that you can slide a smelly cardigan by me. I have superb nose vision. Sometimes I smell other things, too, but I don't like to brag. I do not have an especially sensitive nose; I have a well-trained nose. Or not. You know, I can barely believe I'm still typing.