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Today has been one of the most spectacularly dull days in the history of my life, don’t you think? I’m sure I’ve had duller days as an infant or a school bus passenger, but I can’t remember the details. What do you think? Also, do you think I should buy a rifle, or a car? If I buy a car, I have nothing with which to fire bullets as I drive; if I buy a rifle, I can walk around shooting, but I haven’t the advantage of a quick getaway. I don’t intend to hit living things, just street signs and tires.
Well, what do you think?
Well, what do you think?
10 Comments:
Rifle.
Get a car -- one that has electrical outlets instead of a cigarette lighter. That way you can plug in an electric chainsaw and won't need a rifle.
Buy the gun. It's much harder to kill someone in self defense with a car.
i'll rival you on the "boring day" bit...
i'm watching "the actors studio" on bravo. james lipton is the highlight of my sunday.
now i'm going to put a bic pen into my eyeball.
The rifle, and quickly!
Well...I recommend the rifle. Once you start shooting, no doubt some anti-gunner will flee his/her/its automobile on foot and leave you with use of a 'loaner' without all the hassle of messing with Avis.
If you're really that broke - & I have my doubts - you could open a meth lab in your bathtub. It's really easy, & no one thinks twice about a hidebound old mare asking the pharmacist for 200 boxes of Sudafed.
Q: Why does Donal keep telling us his columns are up? Is this some sort of Icelandic slang? Is he being outre? I DON'T GET IT
All good suggestions, peoples. I bought a Segway and a pygmy derringer.
This hidebound old mare has tried the Sudafed route many many many times.
I know nothing of Donal’s columns, up or down. I shudder to think of what it could mean. The Saami are a nomadic people; their ways are a mystery to me.
Is it true you have the face of Hermoine Baddeley & the dangerous madness of Kelly Ripa?
Dangerous madness of Kelly Ripa, yer darn tootin'! - the face of Hermione Baddeley, not yet. Some day, though. Some day.
*sigh* Some day.
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