Swears Optional

One of the things I would like to own is a collapsible, liquid-proof coffee cup that looks like an ordinary coffee cup. Specifically, I want a cup that I can crush in my hand when I am furious, thereby frightening the “innocent” onlookers who “otherwise” would not “get” me. I want onlookers to understand that, not only am I livid with anger at the injustice I see, but that I have, as a result of this terrible injustice, become so unhinged, so rabid, so wild with rage that I can (and will) crush (and destroy) a seemingly normal stoneware coffee cup with my bare hand. I will welcome the attendant burns as further evidence of my vicious sincerity.