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Thursday, January 06, 2005


I've had two cups of tea today and they both tasted like ass. You're probably keen for details, so I will now expand upon what I consider a grossly neglected topic: my methods.

First, I put sugar and milk in my cup. Second, I introduce the tea bag and the hot water simultaneously. This is surely an abomination before the Lord, and some day I will pay for my sins. In the meantime I will suffer the blind proxy scorn of the millions of tea drinkers who rend their garments and foam at the mouth at the thought of such abominations.

At any rate, my method is sound. It provides a consistent brew. Today's problem involves my cup. I used a different cup - a cup that resides outside my zone of comfort: my Winchester Mystery House souvenir cup. Every beverage I drink form that cup tastes terrible. I blame Sarah Winchester. For reasons I do not fully comprehend, I also blame the Palestinians.

I switched cups for the second cup of tea. I chose the cup inscribed "Fred." It sports a nice line-drawing of Pastor Fred at a podium. This cup of tea tasted bad, too. I don't know who to blame for this cup of tea. I guess I'll have to go with the Palestinians again.


Blogger Spirit Fingers said...

These cups, are they yours? Perhaps they are dusty.

10:42 PM  
Blogger Lucy said...

I'll have you know that only the middle classes add milk and sugar to taste. It's always nice to distance oneself from the bourgeoisie, even in one's tea taking habits.

6:56 AM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Spirit Fingers, it's not that my cups are just dusty; it's that the cupboards are coated with circa-1928 LEAD PAINT. LEAD PAINT molecules become airborne through a scientific process I like to call "routinely slamming the cupboard doors in disgust." The airborne particles adhere to my cups. Then I drink the molecules in my tea. My usual cup does not spend time in the LEAD PAINT cupboard.

Lucy, I've always understood you to be of the painfully sarcastic lumpenproletariat. How dare you admonish me! Get over here and wash my windows!

10:20 AM  

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