Failure to Gossip Properly Will Keep You Up at Night
I’ve heard that Woman X is divorcing my best friend Schaffer. Good, I say. If I had married Schaffer, I’d have divorced him in a heartbeat, the savage baldy bore - though Woman X is no prize either. What can you say when two bores divorce? Very little. You can’t even gossip about it properly - and failure to gossip properly will keep you up at night. You know you’ve made a ruin of your life when your botched marriage fails to generate the scarcest glimmer of schadenfreude in your supporting cast.