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Monday, February 21, 2005

Failure to Gossip Properly Will Keep You Up at Night

I’ve heard that Woman X is divorcing my best friend Schaffer. Good, I say. If I had married Schaffer, I’d have divorced him in a heartbeat, the savage baldy bore - though Woman X is no prize either. What can you say when two bores divorce? Very little. You can’t even gossip about it properly - and failure to gossip properly will keep you up at night. You know you’ve made a ruin of your life when your botched marriage fails to generate the scarcest glimmer of schadenfreude in your supporting cast.


Blogger gatsby said...

spice it up.
didn't she once sew a tent from all of his clothes while he slept?
didn't he cut a hole in a farrah fawcet poster and insist she wear it during intercourse?
and what of the time they travelled the world in search of the golden monkey, and when they had finally wrestled from the native people that worshipped it, she had insisted on donating it to a museum only to find out he had sold it earlier that morning to rupert murdoch for 73 dollars and a denver omelette?

2:47 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Wilber: Does Gatsby have a blog? What's the URL? You're both funny.
pls. mail me, if you will, at mbenditem@msn.com. Thx.

6:35 PM  
Blogger Rob Miles said...

I'd never marry a woman with a letter for a first name. Especially if it was X.

6:55 AM  

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