Well Begun is Half Dun
I've unearthed an appliance that transforms ordinary coffee beans into actual, viable coffee grounds. Useless. Vanity of vanities; all is vanity. It's good for scaring squirrels out of the cupboards, I suppose, or for grinding AA batteries into an energy drink of sorts. I've gone off coffee, though. Blocks my chi. Now I start each day with a cool glass of Pantene 2-in-1 shampoo + conditioner. My chi practically vomits a million thank-yous.