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Monday, February 28, 2005

Well Begun is Half Dun

I've unearthed an appliance that transforms ordinary coffee beans into actual, viable coffee grounds. Useless. Vanity of vanities; all is vanity. It's good for scaring squirrels out of the cupboards, I suppose, or for grinding AA batteries into an energy drink of sorts. I've gone off coffee, though. Blocks my chi. Now I start each day with a cool glass of Pantene 2-in-1 shampoo + conditioner. My chi practically vomits a million thank-yous.


Anonymous Johnny - Oh said...

After perusing the label of my bottle of head and shoulders, I realized that it has no chi cleansing effects. I refuse to switch to Pantene, as it is girly, so therefore I must now take my own life. In your honor, I plan on using a coffee grinder to complete my penultimate act.

10:51 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Esthie: Use Brylcreme. You don't need a whole glass: A little dab'll do ya.

(P.S. You got a URL for Gatsby? He/She is funny and I'd like to look the insaner up. I'm at mbenditem@msn.com)

5:41 PM  
Blogger Rob Miles said...

OK, so I got some old batteries (I used AAA since I'm on a diet at the moment) and ground them up to make an energy drink.

To tell you the truth it tasted a little flat.

6:35 AM  

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