My "To Do" List
- Dust the rabbit figurines DO NOT USE PLEDGE, THAT’S FOR WOOD
- Weigh lipstick tubes and organize by ounces viable; be sure to tare the caps
- Construct complete Days of Our Lives family trees from memory – include thumbnail sketches
- FINALLY pull out the fridge and retrieve the summer sausage that rolled under there last May
- Proofread complaint letter to Clabber Girl Double Acting Baking Powder Corp.– why can’t Clabber Girl be more like Calumet? Calumet’s always giving me 110% - but Clabber Girl disappoints time after time, the chubby slattern.
- Assemble the window herb garden that Nancy dropped off before she fell into the pothole last month
- Phone the city about the pothole out front. Notify morgue (?) about Nancy in the pothole.
- Do something about the onion smell in the guest room
- LITTER BOXES
- ASH TRAYS
- Pick hairs off all the soaps – Darla’s bringing the family this time
- Rotate couch cushions - my spot’s getting flat
- Put the scoliosis brace back in the closet – scares Darla’s kids
- Find the cockatiel (attic?) and glue cage back together. Don’t glue the cage door shut this time - you’ll just have to break it again
- Replace tarp over picture window (tear in left hand corner)
- Paint nails
- Mail Mensa dues and gas bill
- Replace the brownish doilies with fresh ones
- Full-spectrum light bulbs? Check dollar store first
- Ask Annette to move her urine jar
- Why are we keeping the broken recliner? Every time I sit in it I throw out my back. Ask Todd to haul it over to the neighbor’s yard with the others. While he’s at it – if it’s warm outside - he can hose the mice out of the old Volvo and fill up the tires.
- Weigh lipstick tubes and organize by ounces viable; be sure to tare the caps
- Construct complete Days of Our Lives family trees from memory – include thumbnail sketches
- FINALLY pull out the fridge and retrieve the summer sausage that rolled under there last May
- Proofread complaint letter to Clabber Girl Double Acting Baking Powder Corp.– why can’t Clabber Girl be more like Calumet? Calumet’s always giving me 110% - but Clabber Girl disappoints time after time, the chubby slattern.
- Assemble the window herb garden that Nancy dropped off before she fell into the pothole last month
- Phone the city about the pothole out front. Notify morgue (?) about Nancy in the pothole.
- Do something about the onion smell in the guest room
- LITTER BOXES
- ASH TRAYS
- Pick hairs off all the soaps – Darla’s bringing the family this time
- Rotate couch cushions - my spot’s getting flat
- Put the scoliosis brace back in the closet – scares Darla’s kids
- Find the cockatiel (attic?) and glue cage back together. Don’t glue the cage door shut this time - you’ll just have to break it again
- Replace tarp over picture window (tear in left hand corner)
- Paint nails
- Mail Mensa dues and gas bill
- Replace the brownish doilies with fresh ones
- Full-spectrum light bulbs? Check dollar store first
- Ask Annette to move her urine jar
- Why are we keeping the broken recliner? Every time I sit in it I throw out my back. Ask Todd to haul it over to the neighbor’s yard with the others. While he’s at it – if it’s warm outside - he can hose the mice out of the old Volvo and fill up the tires.
2 Comments:
You tried to sneak that through, didn't you?: "Mail Mensa dues..."
I bow to the queen of smart.
Totally unsurprising. I recognize genius when I see it.
Post a Comment
<< Home