I Am Indifferent to Bejeweled Head Devices
Who likes tiaras? I am indifferent to the tiara, though I am convinced that no adult of real importance would be caught dead wearing such a blatant instrument of imbecility. Better to just wear a diamondy wristwatch in your hair. That way, you are providing a minor public service while advertising your wealth; everyone needs to know when it's time to leave the ball to get home and relieve the dog of his baby-sitting duties. Donald Trump no longer needs diamonds to advertise his wealth, so he might take this concept a step further by wearing fresh syringes and free condoms in his hair. "Now there is a rich man who aims to help the common people," someone would say. I wouldn't say this, but surely someone would.