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Thursday, March 03, 2005

I Am Indifferent to Bejeweled Head Devices

Who likes tiaras? I am indifferent to the tiara, though I am convinced that no adult of real importance would be caught dead wearing such a blatant instrument of imbecility. Better to just wear a diamondy wristwatch in your hair. That way, you are providing a minor public service while advertising your wealth; everyone needs to know when it's time to leave the ball to get home and relieve the dog of his baby-sitting duties. Donald Trump no longer needs diamonds to advertise his wealth, so he might take this concept a step further by wearing fresh syringes and free condoms in his hair. "Now there is a rich man who aims to help the common people," someone would say. I wouldn't say this, but surely someone would.

8 Comments:

Anonymous Protagoras said...

Indeed, I would surely say that. Or something similar, at least.

5:48 AM  
Blogger Gordon said...

Esther, I can't contain my feelings any longer - can we elope?

8:04 AM  
Anonymous el Roasted said...

Do poor, bald men dream of becoming rich so they can grow/purchase hair much like the Trump?
We've already seen Trump the boardgame, the Apprentice, the Visa commercials...i think it's time that Da' Trump branches out into haircare products.
Imagine all the lives that could be saved with a combination weave/ blaze orange construction hardhat.

11:24 AM  
Anonymous el Roasted said...

Do poor, bald men dream of becoming rich so they can grow/purchase hair much like the Trump?
We've already seen Trump the boardgame, the Apprentice, the Visa commercials...i think it's time that Da' Trump branches out into haircare products.
Imagine all the lives that could be saved with a combination weave/ blaze orange construction hardhat.

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Karla said...

At my office, we have tiara tuesdays in which we all wear tiaras to work. the reactions we get from visitors are well worth the headache caused by the little combs digging into our scalps. whenever anyone asks why we're wearing tiaras, we say "Because it's tiara tuesday, of course." After some initial reluctance, the men have really gotten into the spirit of things and now they wear have the fanciest tiaras. I say don't knock it 'til you've tried it.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Do poor, bald men dream of becoming rich so they can grow/purchase hair much like the Trump?
We've already seen Trump the boardgame, the Apprentice, the Visa commercials...i think it's time that Da' Trump branches out into haircare products.
Imagine all the lives that could be saved with a combination weave/ blaze orange construction hardhat.

6:29 PM  
Blogger kari said...

esther-- how would you feel about us stopping by your place of work to deliver a pack of cookies tomorrow for the low low price of 3.50??? maybe around 2 p.m.??

10:37 PM  
Blogger gatsby said...

packard, what the fuck?

5:30 AM  

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