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Wednesday, July 13, 2005

There is No Do, Only Try

Sorry - I would have blogged sooner, but I was in France. They haven't any internets in France - I had to skim a paper newspaper just to figure out who "hid the magic in the flapjacks," so to speak. My French is poor, so ne'er did I stoop to discover why Etienne Rogers held up Le Eleven-Seven with le fly swatter, and I couldn't follow the story about the barren holstein with the revolver in the garden of Mlle de Pgogné.

When I wasn't busy studying the newspaper, I was following the Tour de France on my 1988 Trek. My bike has no wheels, so I had to drag it behind me with a rope as I raced after the peloton on foot; when I forded a river I held my bike above my head - the seat had fallen off at that point, so I had no choice. Later I spotted a truck full of hay and I hurled my bike into the truck bed, but then the truck sped off and I was left in a cloud of dust with no bicycle to drag behind me. I am sorry to say that I gave up entirely after one day. Couldn't keep up on foot, and the locals pelted me with rotten fruit and at every opportunity.

7 Comments:

Anonymous stephenesque said...

I was in France too! But I didn't see you. Are you sure you were in the right place? Perhaps you were in Luxembourg by mistake. It happens

7:58 AM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

No, I'm sure it was France. Maybe you didn't recognize me because I was wearing a new hat.

8:41 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Did an unshaven brute in a beret and striped shirt play the accordion for you? I couldn't throw a brick without hitting one of those fellows the last time i was in France. Of course, I only throw bricks when trying to batter French fellows with berets and striped shirts. Is Gillette not a French word? Shave, you bastards!

9:54 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

Bring your one-woman peleton to Oregon, please. We have rotten fruit going to waste.

5:32 PM  
Blogger Shane said...

Huh! That's the french for y'. Bastards.

7:23 PM  
Anonymous beautifulatrocities said...

Have you by any chance been guest-blogging for Just-You-Know-Who? Because his last 2 posts sound dangerously unbalanced. I mean that kindly & caringly

1:53 PM  
Blogger Nonsensical_Flounderings said...

Hilarious,

I was about to respond to Shane's post and type the French for "You bastards" then I reread it and realized he said "That's the French for y'. Bastards"

I thought it said "What is the French for You bastards".

D'oh! I need more caffeine.

Vous bâtards

Mik

12:11 AM  

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