Allow Me to Consult My Computer Dictionary

Do you think I should buy a canoe? I don’t really want one, but I hear they’re all the rage.

According to my computer dictionary, a canoe is “a light, slender boat that has pointed ends and is propelled by paddles.” Who cares? As far as watercraft is concerned, I think I’d prefer a fine pontoon; that way, I could walk into a bar and say, “I must admit, I have a fine pontoon.” The rabble will never appreciate this tremendous joke, but it is worth something in the proper milieu.