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Thursday, August 18, 2005

"Damn these Blasted Internets!" I Beseeched Him, and He Heard Me with His Terrifying Ear

Every night I fall asleep praying that God will destroy the internet. And every morning I turn on my computer and there it is again: the internet! Why?! I know for a fact that God hears my prayers, because once I prayed that he'd send me back in time so I could watch the Battle of Hastings, and he did. Unfortunately, I forgot to specify which Battle of Hastings, and was transported to a Sturgis fistfight (1996) between Walter "Bud" Hastings and a man dressed as a box of Chicken McNuggets.

At any rate, this time His answer appears to be "no," so I am going to stop praying for the fiery demise of the internet and start praying that every child in America will learn how to break a horse before he enters the third grade. Of course, this may already be covered by the No Child Left Behind Act.


Blogger Shane said...

You're treading a fine line Esther - religious/political blogging... oosh!

Electioneering talk: 'A horse in every classroom - that's what we promise'

6:15 AM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

I think the thing to which you refer is the No Child Left Behind When the Barn Door Is Closed Act. Or perhaps the No Child Left Behind the Door When the Brains Were Passed Out Act. One of those.

2:49 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, looks like someone tried to grant your wish lately, what with all the new worm attacks!

2:06 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

Are you trying to say that there's another Battle of Hastings?! I'll bet it wasn't as good.

3:54 PM  
Blogger mysfit said...

got to be very clear about time travel destinations - theree maybe a million and one battle of hastings, not all of them true.

if you're not careful you may end up inside someone's head, and as you very well know, it could get really sticky.

11:39 AM  

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