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Thursday, September 29, 2005

Today In History

I took the air conditioner out of my window one year ago today. Today I will again take the air conditioner out of the window. Some people call my timing a simple coincidence, but I call it a poignant indication of my general fortitude and fierce commitment to tradition. While I do not vote or speak Esperanto or recycle household glass and newspaper, I feel that I am an asset to the public weal and deserving of earthly paradise. At any rate, which maritime disaster song do you prefer, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald or Sloop John B? I can't decide - they're both at least as good as The Downeaster Alexa:

I've got bills to pay and fish who need some clothes
I know there's children out there, but where God only knows
They say these people aren't what they used to be
But I've got waters back on land who count on me...
Something something something
Since they told me I can't sell no stripers
And there's no luck in swordfighting here
Like all the locals here I've had to sell my home
Too proud to leave I worked my fingers to the bone
Tell my wife I'm a troll on Atlantis
And I still have my fang on the meal
~from "The Downeaster Alexa"

Haunting, isn't it? An incredibly potent testament to life and death at sea. I, for one, cannot imagine life at sea without swordfighting or trolls selling stripers to Billy Joel on Atlantis. Perhaps this is why I work in an office. While the office does not openly encourage swordfighting, it is not specifically proscribed in the employee handbook. Trolls, on the other hand, are forbidden. As is Billy Joel.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Are you pregnant again? My wife constantly sang The Downeaster Alexa when she was pregnant.

Please don't invite me to a baby shower since I'm dreadfully awful at deciding what a Rolaids baby might even possibly need.

3:36 AM  
Blogger zzzzzzz said...

This post made me kind of dizzy. Think I'll sit down for a while, maybe eat a popsicle.

8:37 AM  
Blogger Chris Cope said...

I think my heart strings have been tugged. Or, it could be something I ate.

12:32 PM  
Blogger OldHorsetailSnake said...

The missing words ("something something something") are:

"It ain't no count, it's Ol' Aunt Bee."

We sang this a lot in grade school when prayers were still allowed.

1:39 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

Rudolf - No Rolaids baby this year. And you can always give cash.

Adolpho - I was also dizzy after this post, but instead of having a popsicle, I had an appendectomy. That's what my people call pot roast, see:

Me: What are we having for dinner?
Mum: An appendectomy.
Me: Can BethAnne stay for the appendectomy?
Mum: Yes, but we haven't repaired the leg restraints she broke last time.
Me: That's OK, she's on medication now.
Mum: Super.

Chris - Sounds like you have a serious medical condition. I will address your malady (and the maladies of others) in a future post entitled "Your Most Pressing Medical Issues Addressed in 25 Words - Or Fewer."

Old - When I was in grade school, I used to pray for clean towels. Everyone can use clean towels. And those words aren't missing - he actually sings "something something something." My ears aren't blind.

11:36 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I vote for the Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald because it reminds me of gym class. I loved gym class.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Esther Wilberforce-Packard said...

We all loved gym class.

5:46 PM  

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