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Monday, August 16, 2004

Go, Vikings

I wish professional football players would play without pads or helmets. That way, players would occasionally die of injuries on the field. It would be an honor to die on the field. The bereaved might erect small white crosses on the field where players fall. Fans would leave mounds of flowers and teddy bears by the field crosses. Other players would have to play carefully, so as not to disturb the crosses and mounds of loving debris. Sometimes, a player might lose his temper, and kick one of the crosses into the stands, or tear a teddy bear to shreds with his teeth. Not classy. Fans would probably boo. Eventually, team morale would sink so low that players would just drive their cars onto the field. The football itself would fall out of use. The object would be to smash your car into cars of the other football players until your car is the last car running.

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