Tea For Me

When I stand out of doors, surveying all that I own, I often say to myself “Why isn’t someone here offering me a cup of tea?” I’m not entirely opposed to making my own tea, to be sure. What I'm saying is that I would drink wads more of it if someone else made it for me. “Cup of tea?” someone would ask. “Yes, duh, of course, YES,” I would reply. If this tea-wrangler passed me a mug of black tea, or worse, a mug of hot water with a tea bag in it, I would slap the mug from his hand, pluck the mug from the lawn and strike the brute with it. I think its clear that I’d like my tea with milk and sugar. I'd also like my tea in a cup with a saucer. If I can't find someone who makes my tea the way I like it, I will just go on complaining about it until they send me to the bughouse. If its crazy to want someone else to make me a cup of tea, then that's where I belong. And in case you're wondering, I will complain while I'm there, too.