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Nancy W. of East Lansing, Michigan, writes in to ask “Under what circumstances should you call a dress a ‘frock’?” Answer: Under no circumstances. ‘Frock’ means a fracture of the hock. “I fractured my hock,” you could safely say. “I have a frock. Only a hairline frock, though.” Where is your hock? It’s connected to your thorax. If you break your thorax, it’s called a ‘thwack.’ If you break someone else’s thorax, it’s called an accident, or ‘thwaccident.’ Unless you did it on purpose. Then it’s ‘assault.’ If you need more legal advice than what I’ve provided here, you’re going to have to show up at my office and pay the fee.