You May Have Heard of Wade Parks

I came across a little piece of gossip: Wade W. Parks peed his pants in his cubicle, and he “likes” Lori Dubenthral. Now, I like Wade. I know that he’s a girl and all, but he is generous to a fault, and his family vacationed where my family vacationed. While that doesn’t make us blood kin, it does create a pocket of sympathy. You may be interested to learn that he keeps back-up pants in his cubicle. If you are single, you may desire a date with Wade Parks. I do not advise it. He is debauched to the extreme. I dare not tell you more. Oh, okay, one more thing: Wade Parks will burn your barn if you make him angry. If Wade Parks burns your barn, and you take him to court, will little Sarty Parks testify against his father? I have no idea, and you heard none of this from me.