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Friday, October 08, 2004

I Leave the House for Assorted Errandry

Here's something. I had to run my own errands today because that half-wit Jerr has the grippe and can't do his job. He can barely run my errands when he's "healthy," so I don't know what I'm moaning about. I was barreling down the sidewalk, worrying and minding my own business, when I was interrupted by another clipboard lady who wanted me to help her with THREE things: save the environment AND get Bush out of office AND remember to vote. Stop following me, democracy ladies! If you keep harassing me, I'll send Jerr to vote for me. It will never get done. He'll lollygag at the pigeon house and stop for a hot chocolate and fall asleep under a hay bale. He'll chew the fat with a skateboarder and decide to climb a phone pole. He's like that kid in The Family Circus with his meandering black-dotted route of chaos. The recount will be underway by the time Jerr gets to the polls. Seriously, stop bugging me. Do I not appear nervous enough already? Would you bug me if I carried a plastic green bayonet around town with me? Probably not, if I crouched a little and looked at you with my crazy eye. I suppose Animal Control will be the ones accosting me, in that case. So the plastic green bayonet's out. Also, I don't own a plastic green bayonet. Yet.

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